Preface

We are here — each of us — for a reason. And the pain we face — each of us on this planet — comes for a reason.

Pain is the path to truth. It refracts light to reveal things not otherwise seen. In the heart of pain is a moment when the universe, and our place within it, becomes more visible. This is a story of entering that moment, of listening to what pain teaches.

Six years ago, I lost something more precious than my own life. At that moment, I began the journey you’ll find in this book. I wanted to know the truth about why we are here and what happens after death. So far I have learned this: Nothing is truly lost. Nothing. The soul is constant,
never broken. Pain seems to damage us, but the damage is
an illusion. The idea of safety or protection is an illusion. It is all safe — everything we love.

This is the story of how I came to know these things. I am not a psychic or a medium; I am not clairaudient. I am, rather, a psychologist with a deep love of science. I am a researcher who conducts randomized, controlled trials. I’d never expected to take this journey. But as I have learned, in the heart of pain exist things I’d never imagined.

by Matthew McKay

Matthew McKay is a clinical psychologist and a professor at the Wright Institute in Berkeley, California. In 1979, he cofounded Haight Ashbury Psychological Services in San Francisco and served as its clinical director for twenty-five years. Currently he serves as the director of the Berkeley Cognitive Behavior Therapy Clinic. He has explored spiritual and afterlife issues in two previous books: Why? and Your Life on Purpose. He is also the author of professional and self-help psychology books, including Thoughts & Feelings, Messages, Mind and Emotions, Self-Esteem, Prisoners of Belief, and many others.

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4 Comments

Margaret Miles O'Brien May 25, 2016 at 12:17 pm

I heard you on the radio overnight. So so interesting as I lost my son (Willard Miles)to when he was burned in his garage under his house and was in a coma for 10 weeks and in the Bridgeport Burn Hospital for 4 months. His house burned down and he could not work in his 25 year owned garage in the next town. He survived for nearly a year and got cancer for a few weeks. He could not stand the awful cancer treatments and one day went to his garage put a crowbar on his neck and let the lift down. There is so many of us. Thank you so very much for sharing. I know how hard it is, but we need to hear your story over and over again. TAKE GOOD CARE Marge

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Elizabeth May 30, 2016 at 8:49 pm

Thank you Mattew McKay and Jude
My husband and I lost our son Dylan, he was 30 years old, from an accidental drug overdose. He was in the middle of his amazing life, and we were mid sentence when he left us…….it has been 7 months now and we are all still in shock over this happening. From what the investigators tell us, he snorted cocaine ( probably celebrating his recent job raise and promotion) it was laced with fentenyl ( he did not know) and he died a few hours later……he was our bright spot and shining one in our family and this loss has been unbearable, as I’m sure you know.
I finished reading your book last night and sobbed the rest of the night, not able to sleep. My belief system may vary from yours, but I do believe I can connect and talk with Dylan. I think he may already be trying to be in touch but due to my PTSD from his death, I have not been able to communicate. I do think I am ready now. I miss him so much, he called me everyday on his way home from work…….the absence there is deafening……
Is there a way to find a place that can help me communicate on a regular basis that you do with Jordan? I, like your wife, grew up in the professional world of dance ( New York City Ballet and toured with the North Carolina Dance Theatre) so I understand being more in touch with the realm of the physical. But any thing would help.
But if you can never get back to this, thank you for stepping out with courage and writing the book…..hello to Jordan from me”)

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Anne Pritchard June 26, 2016 at 11:17 pm

I want to tell you I am so glad you went ahead and had the courage to write the book. Please know this book has provided so much comfort to me.

I am not the most accepting person of the various challenges life has sent my way. But by the book’s end I “got it.” That is to say, I understood in my heart and spirit that I chose these challenges. And I realized (as you talk about in the book) that the bad, sad stuff has in fact given me insights and understanding that I am sure I would not otherwise have – and that indeed is a blessing.

The strange thing is recently I decided to spend what time I have left on this planet in service to others – then I read your book and what you say fits so well with where I am at. By that I mean I have been searching for peace for years asking and pondering the why? why? why? questions. I finally decided this past year “to hell with it. I am simply going to help others. There is no reasonable answer to be found so I will go ahead and do my best and quit trying to understand this journey.”

Then I hear about your book ( interview with Whitley Strieber) and I order your book and in it you say what has never crossed my mind; that doubt and uncertainty is a tool for growth and knowing there are no ultimate comfortable answers on this side of life can be a good thing in that certainty often leads to narrow-mindedness and judgment of others and so on. Life IS ambiguous and full of contradictions with events that seem unfair and cruel. But this can in fact help us move to a place of tolerance and love and compassion.

I just want you to know this book is so valuable and has given me strength to accept and soldier on and be as happy as I can while helping others in the best ways that I can.

This book, I believe, will be a classic and provide much comfort and truth to many. I feel changed by having read it and I really mean that. Thank you so so much !

Anne

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Simone March 21, 2017 at 3:59 pm

I too do not know what to do with so much pain – I am so tired of just having to bare it in silence It feels as if my life is on hold just waiting for it to end. . On many days it makes me want to commit violence against those responsible .
In any case, thanks so much for your talk on March 20 Death and Afterlife Summit. Your explanation as to why we are here is one of the best I have come across and makes the most sense. But one question: If this greater consciousness is evolving (a great idea) does that not imply linear time as we know it? All NDEs and so on indicate that whatever there is after this life does not include any sort of linear time. What is your take on this? Would so appreciate to know your opinion or your channeled opinion.

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